Triumphant return of the little black man..

Its been almost a year since my last confession. Getting close to time for the wife and son to go to Dallas for a week of youth church camp. So you know what this means.... Maybe I'll try to refinish the bathtub again. Whatever happens, I'm sure hilarity will ensue...

Little Black Man versus the Stones....
Me and Mr. Jagger go back a long way... Well, not really, but if you're gonna talk about the Stones, you gotta mention Mick Jagger and Keith Richards. Never understood why women love these guys.. It has GOT to be the money, because... well, have you seen these two?

Well, you have now... This is not what I wanted to talk about... Last Sunday, I woke up at about 4:00am with a pain in my left side that I can only describe as what I would assume being shot feels like. So, I did what any man would do... Go potty...
That didn't help a bit with the pain, but it did make my bladder feel a little lighter. I proceeded to walk around the house for a minute or two, hoping that it was just gas or something, that I'd be able to just pass it off (pun intended)... About five minutes passed before the pain got even more intense. At this point, it has spread around to my back and the middle of my spine, quite possibly the worst pain I have ever felt in my life. So I wake up my wife so we can pray and get something done about this, because at this point, it's getting unbearable. I'm just thanking God that we just got really good life insurance, because I was pretty convinced I just woke up to bleed to death internally or something crazy like that...
now mind you, we don't have health insurance, so going to the hospital was not an option I had considered, especially considering how well off my family would be if I just dropped dead..

So a little bit later, I'm pacing back and forth in the driveway while my wife tries her best to convince me to go to the hospital. At this time of morning, the only thing open is the emergency room at the local hospital, conveniently located about a half mile down the street. It made my decision much easier once the crying started.... It was REALLY hurting now, making it very difficult to continue my pacing. So my wife wakes up our son to tell him what's going on. His job is to let his sisters down easy in case they wake up and I'm dead...

Long story short, after a lot of slapstick comedy and a CT scan, turns out I had four kidney stones, which I really don't understand since I am the national spokesperson for water drinking... They doped me up pretty good with percocet (spelling?) at the ER and said I'd just have to pass them... A few hours after the ER visit, its time to go to church... Needless to say, I didn't drive... So friends of mine prayed over me at church that day. Today I feel like normal. I have no recollection of passing any stones, although (GRAPHIC CONTENT AHEAD) my *filtered* felt like something much larger had passed through it and stretched out the inside for about four days. So, either I passed them while the pain killer was still working, or God just had mercy on me and dissolved them, leaving me with a little aftertaste as a reminder...
Whichever the case may be, after all that, I think I'm gonna drink as much Coke as I can just to have a reason for the discomfort..

Until next time, good night and God bless...

-myk