It's been almost a month since my last "confession"....Anyway, the wife and I had the whole weekend to ourselves without the children... And, as we've been married for 10 years now, we had no clue what to do.. Our activities usually center around things to do as a family. Well, maybe not exactly, but we very seldom get to do any "grown-up
stuff..
We had a heck of a time coming up with something. We decided to go to Tunica, Mississippi. Neither of us have ever been to a casino before, and we've heard all kinds of stories about the kinds of people you can see there. I have a hard time fathoming how someone can honestly think that they can pay their mortgage by gambling away their mortgage money... It's like, "you just HAD the money in your hand!"
We booked a hotel room online for the night and left out on Friday afternoon for Tunica. It was about a two hour drive from our place, and it was a pleasant drive at that. The hotel was not the best in the world, but it was nice. A simple Best Western with the biggest bed I have ever seen in my life. We checked in, and headed for the casino.
I didn't want to spend much, so we went in armed with $40 that we could afford to lose. We planned to lose it... If we win, great... If not, great... We went to Resorts Casino. Took us about a half hour to figure out how the casino works... It's not very friendly to casino virgins, but we found a nice lady who explained how the whole place works, how you had to get a casino card to track your "comps" and such.. We were really there for the $1.00 buffet, but you had to play before you could get the special pricing. We played the slots, because that's all we understand completely. We played nickel slots and we played quarter slots. At some point, I actually made some money! I turned five dollars into $13.50. However, in the true gambling spirit, and against the wishes of my wife who kept telling me to just cash out, I played it away. I was there to play. And I lost...
So, after spending the forty dollars, which took about 15 minutes, I checked our cards to see if we were able to eat at the buffet yet. We had earned a whopping $0.08!!!
At this rate, the one dollar buffet would cost us a few hundred dollars, which I wasn't willing to spend just to eat a one dollar meal. This is how the casino stays in business, obviously, because there were people there who didn't understand basic math and apparently thought this was a good deal. I won't expand too much on the people we saw, but lets just say that Jeff Foxworthy has a goldmine of material to base his jokes on for years to come.
So, we left the casino and set out to find something to eat at a regular restaurant. The buffet, without enough comp points on your card, would have been over $20 per person, which I was unwilling to pay, since we don't eat much. Did you know that there are NO RESTAURANTS IN TUNICA???!!!! If you want to eat, you pretty much HAVE to go to the casino. We ended up spending our romantic evening eating chicken in a gas station.
This town SUCKS!!!
-myk
