"Get 'em off me!!!!"

It's been a bit since my last post. A lot has happened since then. Let's go back a few days and peek in on our hero's latest exploits...

For the past week or so, it has been over 100 degrees every day with a heat index of somewhere around 110.. The HVAC unit on our home is about 6 or 7 years old, and the blower motor is less than one year old. I just put it in last December. Even so, it seems that our unit is just not very efficient. I have cleaned the coils and fins, replaced the filter, and done what little bit I know about HVAC to make it work right, but nothing seems to matter. Not too long ago, I had the kids under the house helping me run phone line and noticed a gap in one of the air ducts. I figured that may have a bit to do with the cooling difficulty. I need to preface this by saying that I do not like crawling under houses. This was my first time when I ran the phone lines.. It was not a happy time, it took about 30 minutes for my friend and family members to give me the pep talk to get me under there... This time was a little bit different. I had another friend come over who new a bit about duct repair, and did not have a problem going on the crawl. I figured with an experienced person with me, we could get this done..
So the crawl begins... We went to Lowe's Hardware and picked up a few rolls of duct tape (who knew this stuff could actually be used for duct repair!) and a few snacks and drinks in case we decide to stop for a meal under the house..... which we quickly ate and drank in the car before leaving the parking lot... We got back to my house and proceeded to crawl under the house. It went a lot better than my first time, i just opened the door and took off military style, flashlight in hand. We reached the first section of duct work which had about a 3 inch gap in a section. We lifted and secured the two section and put a healthy coating of duct tape around it, restoring the much needed air conditioning to the kitchen! This was encouraging! So, we decided to crawl the entire house and inspect the rest of the duct work. We found 3 more sections where the ductwork was either broken or totally separated from the main and repaired all of them.
Lest I forget, the reason I have a deep aversion to house crawls... I don't like spiders... I'm not terrified of them, but I know that there are thousands of them under the typical house. And given the amount of space underneath the house, I fully understand why it is called a crawlspace. So, in the event that one wanders into a nest of spiders or something, there is very little he can do besides take the spider bites and hope he can make it back to the entry point before the poison paralyzes him... I saw tons of spiders, and for the most part, they kept to themselves... However, i DID run into the largest family of "spider-hoppers" i have ever seen! I believe they are called "cave crickets" or "camel crickets", but we call them spider-hoppers. There must have been about a thousand or more, and they all came right at me! I don't know if you know this or not, but those things spray out some kind of nasty juice when you crush them, similar to the acid-like blood from the creatures in those Aliens movies with Sigourney Weaver. Also, it seems that when they're encountered in large numbers, spraying this "juice" only excites the remaining ones and whips them into some sort of bloodthirsty frenzy, causing them to launch a coordinated effort against whoever or whatever crushed the first wave of insects..
It was a long hard fight back to the entrance. I have never crawled so fast in my life! Sometimes its best just to turn off the flashlight and crawl with everything you've got. I'm not sure if I broke anymore ductwork trying to get out of there, but it feels better in the house now... Seems like after coming out from under there, no matter how many showers you take, you just never feel clean again...

Needless to say, I survived... That was quite the experience, and I now understand why people charge so much to do anything under a house. The repair itself was not difficult. I think they just charge what they want because they know we're too scared to crawl under there ourselves...

In retrospect, though, I think next time I'll just pay someone..

God bless,
-myk